The vast majority of parents have some fears about the day when their children will begin dating and for many parents it signals the point at which a son or daughter is making a move from childhood into adulthood. It is also often seen as the point when children take their first steps out alone and this is often seen as a signal that they no longer need you. Nothing could be further from the truth. Dating is just another stage on the long road of normal teenage development and they undoubtedly do still need you - and will continue to do so for a long time to come. Nevertheless, this can be a difficult point in a teenager's life and there is a lot which you can do to make life easier for both of you.
Like most other things, successful dating begins with education and it is very important for you to sit down with your teenagers before they begin dating to discuss what goes into making a good relationship. It is all too easy to presume that your children will understand the ins and outs of dating but they almost certainly won't. When you think about it, much of their knowledge on dating will probably have been gained from the television where the majority of the relationships depicted are not meant to reflect the real world but merely to entertain the audience. Your children need to understand just what it means to be in a loving and supportive relationship and there is no better way for them to discover just what this means than by talking with you about your own views based upon personal knowledge and experience. Naturally, it also follows that your children will learn not simply from what they hear, but from what they see and so setting a good example in the manner in which you conduct your own relationship is very important.
When your children begin dating you will need to enter into what will be an ongoing dialogue about relationships. Your teenager's dates will not always turn out as you or they expect and they are going to need somebody to come to when they run into difficulties. Therefore, it is crucial that you keep the lines of communication open and also that you continue to talk about how they ought to be treating others in a relationship and just how they themselves should expect to be treated.
Meeting your son's or daughter's date for the very first time can sometimes be a nerve wracking time, but it is important to make this initial meeting as comfortable as possible and to be both respectful towards and kind to your teenager's date. And resist the temptation to make the classic mistake of giving the couple a lecture laying down the rules for going out with one another. Any rules that you wish to impose are for your teenager and not for his or her date and so should be discussed in private and with your child alone. Also, while it is always possible that you will take an immediate dislike to your teenager's date, you must not let this show and should make a conscious effort to be supportive. After you have taught your teenagers how to behave in a relationship you must trust them to make their own decisions and should not step in unless you believe that the relationship is putting your teenager in danger.
It can be difficult to watch your children growing up and meeting and getting close to new people. However, as long as you do your part and teach them what they ought to expect from and how they ought to conduct themselves in a relationship, then there is an excellent chance that things will work out and that problems will be minimized for both you and your children.
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